A Thousand Breasts for Putin

One man was allowed to grab a thousand breasts in a row because Putin. That was his entire strategy. Russian comedian Sam Nickel had a chance to shake hands with the Russian prime minister, wanted to pass on two kilotits of "positive energy and tactile experience" through his hands and kept a straight face while explaining that to a thousand women. He maintained a fierce scowl of concentration throughout the project, possibly to prevent himself from giggling, "It's working!"

He actually tried it on five thousand women, proving that simply saying "Putin" gives you a 20 percent chance of getting to second base. That's one word per thousand gropes. Even pick-up artists don't claim rates that good, and desperation, bullshit and ridiculous online claims are their entire deal. He finished off this electronically-recorded 1,000-grab combo with a triple-hit-finisher, something which is normally the opposite of touching tits.

And.. Putin's Army